Viva el payback!

Laura WilkinsonSeptember 16, 20093 Mins read21 Views

Today is Mexican Independence Day! Viva Mexico! Although the parade and the official holiday is today, all the fun took place last night.

This is one of my very favorite holidays here in Cozumel. First of all, all the streets around the town hall are blocked off, and open to pedestrians and you get to be naughty and walk in the middle of the street.

Secondly, the park in front of the town hall is literally overflowing with food vendors selling the most amazing fat laden, carbohydrate ridden, artery-blocking food (churros, fried bananas, elote on a stick, pozole, chilis enogadas).

Thirdly, as our local paper called it, it’s “the island’s largest cantina” (again, what’s better than walking down the middle of the street with a beverage in your hand?)

Most importantly, there are fireworks. Really good fireworks. I’m not talking about, watching from a safe distance, seat belt wearing fireworks. What we have here in Cozumel are explosions going on right over your head, with hot sparks raining down on parts of the crowd. One year, the best year ever, my shirt actually got singed.

So, yesterday afternoon, I’m “working” and FB messengering with friends discussing what fun we shall all have later, when the husband, way way, too casually mentions that he’s going to be taking his scooter to the mechanic. That right there set my spider-sense tingling, because if there’s one thing the Fab-man does not excel at; it’s preventative maintenance. Plus, after 10 years together, I know that sometimes, my husband starts training early for the really special events.

My suspicions were confirmed early in the evening when he called me to tell me that he’d be home in about an hour, and that we’d go downtown together. At least that’s what I was able to make out of the conversation with the loud cantina music in the background.

I finished some projects, watered the garden, and had just opened a bottle of wine, when I received the following text message from the Fabster:

“Senores! Viva Mexico! Viva el Cura Hidalgo! Viva Dona Josefina Ortiz, Viva Morleos! Viva Las Pumas!” which translates as: Gentleman! Hurrah for Mexico! Hurrah for manyFamous patriots! Hurrah for my favorite football team!

Again, a smarter woman would have accepted the various invites to parties or downtown locations but not I. As I’m walking out the door with my keys in hand, up walks the Fabster, with my least favorite friend of his.

I don’t care who you are, or where you live, everyone who is married or in a committed relationship, has one friend of their significant other’s that they purely cannot stand. You might hide it, or fake it, but deep down inside, we all know this is gospel truth. Enter Fab-man and the Napoleonic Anti-Christ.

Now, fireworks are slated for 11. The Fabster, who now is looking remarkably like “Frank the tank” in the movie Old School, convinces me to stay, have a drink, chat with the Napoleonic Anti-Christ, and we’ll all head downtown together. By the time, I finally bin the 2 stooges into the car, I have just enough time to sit on the hood, and watch the top 1/3 of the fireworks through the trees, standing in the middle of my street.

We were like salmon swimming upstream, as we maneuvered our way into the park, since most people had eaten, watched the fireworks and were now headed home. Luckily, the husband is a tall man, as am I and there’s a large Mayan population here, so it’s generally easy to follow him as he darts through a crowd. As for the Napoleonic Anti-Christ, who cares?

Instead of perusing the various food vendors and making some choice selection, we flop ourselves down at the first available table, which happens to be serving tamales and black beans and pork, not my first choices. Dinner conversation consisted of me and Napoleonic Anti-Christ discussing who hates the other more. I won.

It sounds kind of strange, but neither one of us has ever made any sort of attempt to hide our mutual loathing for each other. Sometimes, it’s actually fun to say things like “You know just how much I hate you, right? Well…” I haven’t really figured out if the Fabster thinks this is jovial fun, or one day we’ll just bury our picks and axes and make nice, but he genuinely likes to put us together and hope for the best, which, generally speaking is bloodshed, usually at his expense.

End of the story, no fireworks, no good food, major letdown, however, still entertainly humorous, in a sick Tom Leherer sort of way.

Oh, and just as the epilogue, Fabian has promised to find me chilis enogadas before arriving home, and , although he doesn’t know it yet, he’s helping Lisa move her refrigerator down 2 flights of stairs later this afternoon. Sucker! Viva Revenge!

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Laura Wilkinson

Author at Cozumel 4 You

An ex-Connecticut Yankee who has called Cozumel home for over 18 years, Laura ran away to the Caribbean years ago, bumped around the islands teaching SCUBA diving, lost some time in Jamaica, and finally stopped in Cozumel for a 2 week vacation that hasn’t ended yet. With a degree in Journalism from a fancy private college she convinced her parents to pay for, Laura writes, edits, and creates the weeklyCozumel 4 You news,social media, and promotional articles about the island, as well as moderates the Cozumel 4 You Facebook group, which currently has over 25,000 members. Her long suffering husband, Fabian, has long since resigned himself to having zero private life, as he’s been involved in her various schemes and plots since his arrival. Proud parents to a variety of rescue dogs and cats, Laura continues to be the bane of her traditional Mexican mother-in-law’s existence, as she muses her way through life in the Mexican Caribbean.
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Una ex yanqui de Connecticut quien llama hogar a Cozumel desde hace más de 15 años. Laura escapó al Caribe hace años, desplazándose de una isla a otra dando clases de BUCEO. Se dedicó a perder el tiempo en Jamaica y finalmente se detuvo en Cozumel para pasar unas vacaciones de 2 semanas que aún no terminan. Convenciendo a sus padres que pagaran una elegante universidad privada, obtuvo su título en Periodismo y Laura crea semanalmente Cozumel 4You, medios sociales y artículos promocionales sobre la Isla y también es moderadora en el grupo Cozumel 4 You en Facebook que actualmente cuenta con 25,000 miembros. Fabián, s umuy tolerante marido, desde hace mucho tiempo se resignó a no tener vida privada, pues se ha visto implicado en los diversos proyectos y planes que urde Laura. Son orgullosos padres de diversos perros y gatos rescatados. Mientras contempla su paso a través de la vida en el Caribe mexicano,Laura continúa siendo la pesadilla en la existencia de su muy tradicional suegra mexicana.

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Written by

Laura Wilkinson -

An ex-Connecticut Yankee who has called Cozumel home for over 18 years, Laura ran away to the Caribbean years ago, bumped around the islands teaching SCUBA diving, lost some time in Jamaica, and finally stopped in Cozumel for a 2 week vacation that hasn’t ended yet. With a degree in Journalism from a fancy private college she convinced her parents to pay for, Laura writes, edits, and creates the weekly Cozumel 4 You news, social media, and promotional articles about the island, as well as moderates the Cozumel 4 You Facebook group, which currently has over 25,000 members. Her long suffering husband, Fabian, has long since resigned himself to having zero private life, as he’s been involved in her various schemes and plots since his arrival. Proud parents to a variety of rescue dogs and cats, Laura continues to be the bane of her traditional Mexican mother-in-law’s existence, as she muses her way through life in the Mexican Caribbean. ______________________________ Una ex yanqui de Connecticut quien llama hogar a Cozumel desde hace más de 15 años. Laura escapó al Caribe hace años, desplazándose de una isla a otra dando clases de BUCEO. Se dedicó a perder el tiempo en Jamaica y finalmente se detuvo en Cozumel para pasar unas vacaciones de 2 semanas que aún no terminan. Convenciendo a sus padres que pagaran una elegante universidad privada, obtuvo su título en Periodismo y Laura crea semanalmente Cozumel 4You, medios sociales y artículos promocionales sobre la Isla y también es moderadora en el grupo Cozumel 4 You en Facebook que actualmente cuenta con 25,000 miembros. Fabián, s umuy tolerante marido, desde hace mucho tiempo se resignó a no tener vida privada, pues se ha visto implicado en los diversos proyectos y planes que urde Laura. Son orgullosos padres de diversos perros y gatos rescatados. Mientras contempla su paso a través de la vida en el Caribe mexicano, Laura continúa siendo la pesadilla en la existencia de su muy tradicional suegra mexicana.

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3 Comments

Ms. Moon says:

September 16, 2009 at 8:18 pm

I still wish I’d been there.

Reply
cozzie laura says:

September 16, 2009 at 9:10 pm

trust me, i do too! still no baby news?

Reply
Kori says:

September 16, 2009 at 9:49 pm

Why does one need a PASSPORT to come to your abode? Because I really, really want to be there (though I am not tall, so had I been with you, I would have been trotting along on my short stubby legs and would have missed ALL the fireworks) and see this lovely place but-ugh. I get that it’s a different country and all, but couldn’t they make an exception for ME?

Reply